I'm in so over my head its sorta hilarious. Yesterday was my first practice where I had the two little girls with me the whole time, but we had also been there for Baylie's practice and so total over 3 hours and it was pretty awful.
Not the team, the girls are wonderful, its just the logistics of it all and my lack of coaching knowledge and total fakerness.
First up, California has no grass. So we are essentially kicking up dirt. Then the school we are practicing at it is real crabby about us being there and uncooperative so there are no bathrooms. My team parents have been lovely but its the other (MALE!) coaches that give me crap about where we can be and were we are supposed to be and what little corner of the dirt we should be on. And then my cute girls have to just be on their own really and but not walking through the practice.
But last nite somehow we ran out of water really early. Even though I had 3 huge things of it. Mental note, bring more. Then there is the enormous amount of crap I have to bring with me. Then ants were biting all over Ivy and somehow moved to where all my stuff was. Then my child who was supposed to be babysitting the little two who we had talked about it before flatly refused. It was a bit stressful.
Thankfully the girls are Darbys team are awesome and the parents. They really step up and help. We have some pretty good players on the team, but still need to go over the very basics since some our brand new to soccer.
But I need a new plan. The city parks have grass and bathrooms and better playgrounds, but you can't reserve them and Darby keeps telling me her favorite thing about practice is scrimaging! which means we need to stick where the other teams are at.
Last nite we got home at 7:30 having left the house at 3:50 and we were hungry (corndogs for dinner) and dirty and I was really frustrated. Plus I did not want to eat gross corn dogs. Its time to determine positions and our first game is on Saturday and I am remembering oh ya, decision making is not my strength! ahh!!!! The team we scrimmaged was the #1 team who was undefeated last year with this always winning coach and two of my team was on it last year!
As I was saying goodnight to Darby, I said to her very frustrated, I feel bad for your team for having me as a coach instead that fancy one they had last year. And then she said to me, Don't believe everything you think Mom. Wasn't expecting her to say that thats pretty wise so I said where did you hear that? And she pointed to a sign I made her on a clipboard in her room which some of my favorite quotes and sure enough that one was number two.
And I believe that. Don't believe everything you think. And I'm thinking pretty discouraging and negatively right now so I am going to resist like the dickens.
Just means I need a new game plan. Like bring the iPad and a blanket? And bring my beach cart to haul stuff. And have Jason come straight from work to practice so he can help me load up at the end which is always trickier gathering supplies and ant-biten kids and shoes and than you think it will be.
This morning when I prayed I was thinking why oh why did you want me to do this God? Cause I feel like I'm drowning here. Never had three kids in sports and I'm tackling this??? My husband is never home and I feel ill equiped and can't even find the dang U12 training book they gave me!! But I trust that while it will work out, for good or bad haha and learning lessons. Maybe my kids need to see me try something and struggle? Maybe they need to see me putting myself in new situations so when I ask them to do the same? Maybe I just needed to meet more good families in the community? Time will tell.
If you would like to say a prayer this Saturday at 3:30 p.m. Pacfiic Daylight Time, I would appreciate it. Cause my nerves will probably be on high alert for the Coral Crush team. Oh yes, and that team we scrimmaged against? Their team name was Dream Crushers which is like the funniest thing Ive ever heard.
A few minutes after typing this I read something else that reminded me about all the real problems in the world. First world problems Brooke (she says to herself) Coaching soccer definitely one of those. So while I will take your prayers on Saturday I think we should really be praying for the Syrian refugees.
Ps peanut butter toast always makes a good dinner