Tuesday, June 5, 2018

holding on for dear life

My life isn't always crazy I don't think.  Its just when its crazy and I feel like I am about to explode is when I feel like I need to document it and write it down.  So if I'm quiet its because things are nice and possibly boring (praying for boring).

But wow these last two days have kicked my butt.  And I plan on for some more butt kicking til about June 18.  Because by then I will have completely about a million things I need to do including all the kids being out of school and that will mean I have survived a Tahoe soccer trip that I am attending sans Jason plus girls and I am trying to not be nervous about that.

that means I will have already dressed up for colonial day and been in charge of the candy station which I roped Darby into helping. I will have passed out all the yearbooks and sold the remainder and appeased all kinds of testy parents.  I will have given my kids teachers little gifts and thanked them.  Oh yes and I will have done about 2 more relief society meetings not including church. and lets add a birthday for ivy in there for good measure.  about 5 more school lunches to make (plan on taking them out early on the last day) which reminds me I need to find someone to watch rusty.  By the 18th we will have celebrated fathers day, and I will have sent my dad something and Jason's dad and Jason and made them all feel special.

Tomorrow alone I have three different places to be in a short span of time and I'm already looking forward to that being over.  I am definitely going to exercise tomorrow since I don't drink and somehow we have to manage this stress responsibility.  Oh and I forgot about the last Pta meeting of the year I may or not attend because quite frankly don't know how I'm going to squeeze that in.

I do have some fun stuff planned in between though, including a special screening of incredibles, a school movie nite, a graduation party, the big Os 16th bday party that I'm taking Luke too, and Luke is having a scrimmage on Thursday afternoon at the rival high school.

I am going to get off this.  But just know I am alive and if I'm slurring my words or bite your head off know that I'm barely scrapping to the finish line.  I want to head butt the people who had the big kids get out of school before the little kids cause that has been a major dumb thing still having to get up early and homework and yada while part of the family is summer partying!  But I do love seeing those big kids more they are sure great.  and after youth conference and hearing president nelson, that boy of mine indexed the last two days on his own without me knowing.  indexing is data entry for family search which allows people to connect with their ancestors and is pretty much the greatest service and proud of that kid.

I better call on the leak I have had for too long in the bathroom, its telling me it can't be ignored anymore.  Got my brakes fix and wow driving these millions of places sure feels wonderful when you chin isn't vibrating into your neck because you have worn them so thin.  glad that prayers won't have to guarantee my safety to the next destination as well because I was getting a bit worried on the last few trips.

I love being a mom.  All the crazy is worth it.

Thursday, May 31, 2018

Almost summer

Perfect is boring and I am pretty much nailing that. So much still left to do before school is out for everyone . Hide the cookies!!!! Cause I’m going to eat them all trying to not freak out about it all.

Excited for Luke and Jason to go to youth conference tomorrow.

The weather in town right now is so dang awesome. 75 and cool in the mornings and I nite.

I’m reading a book by Brandon Sanderson right now, the rithmatist...crap speaking of I need to update my book Instagram account!

And if you are on Marco Polo come find me and if you are my family reply to me already! Ha .

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Not quitting yet! Teenager-land

So I thought I was done with this old bloggity blog but lately I have been feeling the pull to start back writing on it again!  Because while I don't have anymore toddlers, I do have TEENAGERS!  and they need to be documented to.

Okay, so here's the thing.  I am determined to love these Teenagers years!  I only have 3 more left with Luke home (knock on wood everything goes to plan) and recently have a second teenager in the house!!!

Having a different experience with both of them, but this is going to be great.  Like does that mean its issue-free?  no way, lots of course correcting, and monitoring and little stuff, but dang sure feels like I'm reaping the rewards of all my hard work in their younger years because I really like these people! 15 year boys are awesome!  And so thrilled I have a 13 year old daughter now too! She is beautiful on the inside and outside.

There are a lot of unknowns and questions I have for the future...like how are we going to field the car situation, or dating (eek) and wow seminary was a butt kicker but we did it!  Goooo McCoy Team!!!!!

And shoot Jason and I need to go on a vacation, and lots of stuff needs to be fixed but just one day at a time.  I joined the gym and that has been a good stress/mood manager.

Summer is almost upon us (today is two oldest last day of school but the girls have 2 more weeks) and we have a very busy June in different directions (Jason going to Florida!, high adventure and a Lake Tahoe soccer tournament).  Why do I do so many parentheses?  Why don't I just make them regular sentences? (cause they are more fun duh)

Here is current summer thoughts.  Each kid will take a day to make a lunch.  Must have a fruit or veggie with meal.  Prepare all by themselves.  And then help with dinner.

And then I no longer do bucket lists cause I learned my lesson (hello that felt like work!) but we are going to do a summer goal list with 3 goals.  one of those is something they will learn to cook.  I want to learn how to make pretzels.  Anybody have any good goals for a mom trying to stay sane in the summer?  I'm getting closer to my only New Years resolution which was to watch every episode of the Office!  That has been a fun one.

I'm back.  missed you old friend.

Thursday, February 1, 2018

poor memory

lately I have been remembering why I used to write on my blog.  Its because of my poor memory.  And I know I will forget all of this.  Which is amazing because how could I forget my life right now? But I already do.  I forget what 6 months ago was like, or 2 years, I am forgetting the baby moments and wish so bad I could hold all my babies again.  Sigh.

But anyway, yes I'm busy and tired and need to go to sleep, but just wanted to take a few moments so I wouldn't forget some of these.

This morning I was saying my morning prayer at 5:45 a.m. and God told me I needed to talk to Luke about something and so I went and did it and wow it was spot on and I didn't even know it was an issue.  and I could just see it on his face that I should not know about this, but I didn't and thank goodness for prayers for mothers!

See and I have already forgotten the funny stories from earlier today with the little girls that I didn't want to forget!

But then Darby came in my room tonite after bedtime and asked if she could interview about motherhood.  who me?  You want to do me?  Okay I said as long as you can conduct the interview while doing the dishes.

She asked....

What attributes make a great mother?

hmmmm...kinda stumped.  haven't thought about it like that.

Well, unselfishness I said.

hmm...what else???

I really depend on prayer (see above story) but I know lots of great moms who don't pray so I know that is not mandatory, just very beneficial (essential for me really).  There is no one way to be a mother.  No one size fits all.  Really just love and caring?

What makes a great mom?  I had a great mom so I should know this.  I feel like I am a great mom but it didn't start out that way.

But really any person who loves their kids, who is willing to try over and over again and not quit.  Who does there best and dusts themselves off when they make mistakes is a great mom.  Who instills confidence and cheers them on and teaches them and makes them work so they can be independent healthy adults who will contribute to society...well thats a great mom!

Is there a recipe?  I think thats just it.

Then I told her what I used to tell people.  I think motherhood is like any job (albeit one of the most important and worthwhile jobs in the world).  But like any job you aren't going to start out it amazing.  You might suck in the beginning.  but you get better.  you learn and you grow.  There is a learning curve and a major humbling that takes place.  Motherhood gives you a grand magnification of all your flaws and yet you still have to keep going!  Because it is not about you!!!  Its about that little person whose life you will impression forever who needs a solid force of love and comfort and clarity as their MOTHER.  The most sacred of roles along with father in the world.

A question I used to get all the time is how do you have five kids?  Well they didn't come all as once. First one I didn't know what I was doing, second one I got a little better, had some panic moments with three and four, and fifth was just like oh man I'm like a freaking pro!  Had to learn to let go, learn to temper my temper, learn to take care of myself, learn how to cook and clean (which things I'm trying to give my kids a leg up on earlier).

Thankfully I had the great teacher (Nancy Jo) and really wish my kids have the same fondness as I do of my own mom and forget all the crappy things I have done.  I still have great room to improve but perfection is not a requirement to great mothering thankfully.

I think a confidence really helps when you are mom.  Maybe since it feels we get beaten down so much?  or because we have so many decisions to make?  Or maybe just confidence in the magnitude in our role?  Who knows.  You could write a book on motherhood which is why many people have.

All I know is it is the best thing I have ever done and I had no idea how much I would love it (or suck at it sometimes) and how hard and rewarding motherhood has been.  My greatest achievement.  Thank you children.  I hope you only remember the good parts.

Side note on the way home from volleyball tonite I told them the funny story about an infamous family home evening.

Then they insisted on another funny story so I told them how when we first moved to California and Luke was born I was walking down the stairs in the apartment building while a bunch of our friends were swimming in the pool (the building was arranged like melrose place...don't watch that show kids) anyway......I fell down the stairs bad holding Luke and everyone came rushing to see if I was ok and I didn't want them too because while I was sore we were both okay, BUT I had wet myself all over in the process of falling.  not cool.

why are these the kind of stories that we do remember?

dang it I just thought of a huge one.  a good mother is a good teacher!! She teaches her children morals and values and to be honest and a good person, no matter if they are a religious or not.  That is a common thread of a good mom.  For sure.