Monday, May 18, 2015


This weekend was full of parties!  Friday nite we had a girl party and father/son campout respectively!  The girls love the father son campout since it means they will get to stay up late and watch movies and then sleep in my bedroom!  Which this time I was actually smart and had Darby in my bed.  We stayed up soooo late and when they all woke up in the morning they had big smiles on their faces about our epic nite ;)

Luke and Jason had lots of fun too but not much sleep, such is camping right?

Well and then on Saturday I had myself a huge old PITY PARTY!!!  Mostly because Jason and I were going over the budget again and I just threw a big fit!  After Jason's unemployment and the ebbs and flows of life, sometimes I just have had it!  Why can't money grow on trees?  Cause sometimes I can only see all that I am not offering my children like dance or gymnastic lessons or I get sucked into comparing myself to other families and thinking that my kids would be just as great as this or that if their mom could handle going so many places or afford it!  Which I cannot for both, and have loved not having the kids in spring sports for many reasons.  But wow hate feeling like I am disappointing them  even when I know its NOT TRUE!  cause I have felt the whisperings of the spirit tell me the best thing I can do for them is have them grow up being very loved and teach them the gospel.

But after my big old fit I said a good prayer and decided to try again and my wonderfully husband let me and tried to figure it out again VERY VERY SLOWLY.  and hopefully can get back on track at this budget thing without the big chip on my shoulder.  Because I would rather save money than spend it all and feel guilty and full of anxiety about our safety net.  So sadly I have learned I cannot do it all or do it like how I was raised even which is probably God gave me some extra strong swimmer kids because He knew those McCoys would need to figure it out on their own!

And then I went to church on Sunday and it reminded me again what I already knew but needed to hear again.   That there is lots of 'stuff' that is not important and thankfully I can give them what is which is love and teaching them about Christ.

Just been thinking lately that they are going to have a whole lot of heartache in their life and have to make tough decisions as well, and I don't even want to take that away from them as unpleasant as it is sometimes.  Because that is how we grow (even though I sort of hate growing!) God wants to make us be the awesome people that He knows we can be with His help.

And grateful for my sisters.   Sisters are so awesome because when you tell them something crappy, they tell you something they did that was crappier or at least as funny to make you feel better.  Works every time.  I remember when I went to the wrong airport and almost missed Courtney's wedding and was feeling like the biggest idiot, Lindsey told me when she missed a flight as well!

Good thing all of us women are really sisters anyway, so if you need me to tell you something crappy to make you feel better than I'm your girl.  and would could start with that lamp I broke Saturday nite…but thankfully I have always hated that lamp so I don't even miss it.

Or I could tell you about that time I went to the concert at the House of Blues on Sunset with jackie to see our friends band and then I realized I had left my ticket in the car.  So then we had to get shuttled squished with all the valet guys (I think like 10 Persian and Armenian Men) to retrieve my ticket in the car and then go back to the gate to only realize I had bought the ticket for the Anaheim House of Blues which concert was the nite before.  Thankfully I was young enough to be snuck in as 'part of the band friends' something I surely could not have pulled off now.

Or that time I fell down the outdoor stairs to our apartment when I  holding baby Luke, so everyone rushed to see if I was okay and as I was getting up realized that I was fine except for that I had peed myself on the way down!

Or that time I fainted when I first was pregnant with Luke and had to draw blood and when I came to I said to the blood taking lady, how am I ever going to have a kid and she said, "I don't know!"

Or if we really want to go back far that time when I was playing co-ed soccer (briefly) as a young tween and had just eating spaghetti dinner and got hit in the stomach with the ball so I barfed it up in front of everyone on the side of the field.

Shoot if we limited it just to places I have fainted or peed my pants I could go on for another page at least!

I'm sure there are ones more recent but I have such a lousy memory I have already forgotten them.

Do you feel better yet?

I think i must be having a super sappy day cause I just cried in the tinker bell never beast movie when i was watching it with the little girls.

But I'm starting to think the things that I am the most scared of or the most resistant of are the things that I'm really going to be most awesome at if I can just push through and get pasted that weird yucky phase.  So you might be looking at the world best future budgeter ever!!!!!!!!


Sara Jane said...

You always make me smile Brooke and I think budgets are the absolute hardest thing to stick to :). Some people love them, but I get the loathing. Sometimes it just feels like more stress, but in the long run I guess you are preventing a different stress.

You aren't alone in how you feel about your kids not being able to do things. I am in the same boat and have the same thoughts. I just tell myself it's ok.

I have a million embarrassing moments, but my mind is blank right now!

Nancy Jo said...

I think you are awesome! Laughed at your stories - made me feel better - thanks!