I give myself an F grade...okay maybe C- if we averaged it.

Oh boy today was a lot.  A lot good, a lot bad, a lot of emotion, a lot of thought.

and while I should just go straight to bed I have so many thoughts swirling in my head they must be written down.  And since my house is all asleep, well probably not luke he is still reading, but definitely Jason with that early seminary wakeup time...the computer will have to hear it.

I need a new game plan.  Not on everything, but definitely certain things, the problem spots of the day.  Specially the afterschool hustle of homework, piano, snack, job, but they don't really want to do anything and in the meantime Ivy is getting into everything and I'm dropping all the balls trying to juggle.  Ya know?  Any ideas all you moms that have or had big ones at the same time as little ones?  or i swear your littles ones weren't as sneaky as mine.  I mean were they digging through your bathroom drawers ripping off all the wrapping and sticking pads every where while you are trying to enforce the 20 minute piano time...seriously why or why do I still got to enforce that it is not new and maybe I need to switch it to 30 minutes so they realize 20 minutes isn't that bad and yes you will be glad I made you take this one day and I don't even care if your not glad you still have to practice!!  and this is not my first rodeo!

It started out swell.  Okay I lied it started out me sleeping through my alarm and waking up late and in a rush.

But I got to go to Luke's field trip and my friend Beth watched the girls and it was so nice that he wanted me to go and was hugging me and being all sweet in front of his friends...seriously I can't believe it...much different than he has been the last two years when I have seen him at school stuff.  and I even learned stuff about californias water (guess what we are in a drought!) no but seriously, it was good to stretch my brain a bit too.

And then we were rushing to soccer practice and the littlest trickster fell asleep in the car but maybe that was good cause that was right when Baylie sang me a song one of her classmates taught her and the last line I about died and have since emailed her teacher and had a long talk about who to make friends with and what they teach you but you can still be nice to everyone.  oh boy.  and seriously after Luke's field trip and getting to know a girl in his class who after inquiry seems like her home life is way less than ideal I just think wow, life is not fair.  Its not fair that every kid doesn't get the home they deserve, one of loving parents and stability and values and they don't learn things before they are ready or have to adapt to a situation that would be difficult for even an adult!  I'm just so grateful that God is watching out for each of children no matter what circumstances and loves them all.

and then we got some disappointing news, not surprising but always stings a bit and then a few hours another child punched another child (both girls!!) because she wouldn't give back one of the dollars the other child had given her for her birthday.  Yes at that point I would have given myself a Failing grade in my reaction.  Jason was gone and it was bedtime and it was all I could take.  Good news is that childs room is now clean because that was what I required after "Maddy' surfaced. I would just say that no matter anyone's perception of anyone in the world we have no idea what really goes on in their home or how close they get on the brink of sanity at times.  and I think thats normal. or at least normalish as can be expected. 

But then we said a family prayer and sang a song, and I read aloud a book I'm reading to them (Little Britches recommended by Erin W) which is so shockingly different than the life we live now that the kids are intrigued and it tempered the mood (along with the song) and still got a couple good chats with the kids at the end of the night, including an apology from me to that certain one for me being so upset.  And then Jason came home after they were all tucked in and wow that was sure a day.

Had another neat moment over fancy frozen pizza dinner (thats sarcastic) where I read them a scripture that their grandpa told me today and it just fit us perfect in the moment and really the last two years.  (which moment was probably negated once I got so mad about the punching! and it may or may not have ended up with a broken lamp!)

So here are the scriptures for you tonite.  One from my father in law which I can testify that I have felt before.

Mosiah 24:14-16 

14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will i do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions, 
15 and now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.
16 And it came to pass that so great was their faith and their patience that the voice of the Lord came unto them again, saying, Be of good comfort, for on the morrow I will deliver you out of bondage. 

(ps. if that doesn't just make you want to read the Book of Mormon!!, this was when the Nephites were in bondage by the Lamanites and doesn't the Lord do that for us at times too.)
and another one from my brief night reading.  Had been pondering my 92 year old grandpa today and his poor health and just grateful for eternal families and families in general, even when they aren't perfect.  Thankfully Christ makes up the difference.  or as is quoted...Christ makes all the difference.

Doctrine and Covenants 130:2

And that same sociality which exits among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy.  

Which is why I know whenever my grandpa passes, near or far away, he will give my grandma who he loves and misses dearly...a big hug and probably do cartwheels cause he was so tired of not being able to move around well on earth.

Okay really lastly (I think), this made me think of that guy who was asking me those million questions but wanting a one sentence response...one thing he wondered was if the book of mormon is so true why doesn't it talk about all these other topics that mormons believe in...and I never got to mention it (cause he did stop responding) was that Ha!  You think The Book of Mormon is the only other scripture we have?  No way, we have the Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price and really literally all the general conference talks of modern day prophets that we view at scripture PLUS compiled with the Bible, Wow, there is just so much to learn of Gods word out there...so much truth and knowledge, but yes The Book of Mormon is definitely a must first read and reread. 

okay, really last thing, I have told a few of my family to do this, but my friend Emily G, not to be confused with Emily C or the other Emily G (as in gray :) told me about podcast app on my phone and i have been listening to mormon conversations ever since and they are so great and the underlying thing I have heard is just how much God knows us each as individuals and our needs and wants no matter who we are in the world and that no matter how scary this world seems to be and no matter how bad, God is in charge and He will prevail.  Good stuff.  okay, ten thousand points if you read the whole of my ramblings.  (ps.  Go see the giver, it was good and made me be happy to be alive)