Cranky

Sometimes I think its good to be cranky. Healthy even. (I don't think you were cranky, more like down in the dumps.)

If you are too happy everyone just wants to smack you.

Misery loves company right? Always better to hear someone's more awful situation to feel better about yours than to hear someone's seemingly wonderful and easy life and perfectly behaved children. You know you feel better about yourself that you haven't been called by social services like me. Right?

When I am cranky there is not much that will get me out of it (even ice cream) so I just have to wait for it to pass. Nothing will help me.

Wait, I forgot about shopping, that will do it...
and fast food dinner so I don't have to cook....
and putting on makeup and doing my hair (which I think should be required by law for women's mental health)....
or wearing my favorite shirt (all so so shirts should just be burned) ....
or listening to music really loud...
or a nap...
I forgot about a bath, I love baths...
or watching So You Think You Can Dance or I Survived a Japanese gameshow (that one is really funny)
and exercising (which I'm omitting from my life for another four months), but what I remember of exercising, it did really help.

But sometimes none of those things help and I am just in a bad mood.

Like say the past few months.

So I can really relate when I talked to a certain person tonite.

But here's the deal I've been thinking is. Its really the unknown isn't it. Cause there are answers to all our problems and questions out there (be they the ones we want I don't know), but we are just not aware of them yet. Fortunately we know WHO has the answers even though I will avoid being church lady tonite (even if going to the temple really helps) so you don't want to smack me too. Oftentimes I wish that I could just know the answer real early. I always wish this. Like if only I knew when I was stressing in April that on July 9th I would figure out my solution to Darby's preschool dilemma...and it would be way better than I thought it would. Or when I was crying my eyes about seeing every bad and negative thing about this move (like I wanted to throw up about it) , that come July I would be delighted about it and wonder what I was thinking before.

Like that time Jason lost his job. Or when we found out my medical bills would be more than we could afford...way more. Or when Baylie got her second set of stitches two weeks after her first set last October. Or when we moved to LA without a freaking clue what to do...ya know that whole no jobs, no money, no friends thing...

Because it all does work out really. We just don't know how exactly. At least not right now.

My friend Paula told me "If you are looking for bad, you'll see the bad...if you are looking for good, you'll see the good." And when she told me, I really needed to hear it. Teared up right in an Indian restaurant over some curry. Dang it she was right. And this lady has moved way more than me and had to start from scratch many many times.

So I'm expecting a really positive phone call from you at least by September. Definitely by October. Because I know it will work out for you too.

Much love, Brooke

I hope you don't want to smack me.