Thursday, January 15, 2009

We be Goaling

We are working on Goals at the McCoy house.

Specially using nice words. Because lately a certain boy has been saying 'hate'...and telling everyone he hates them. And "Your mean" or "Insert sister's name is mean" So then of course his sisters start saying it and it must stop.

So nice words it is. No kill, hate or poop is how we defined it. You can say Be Nice! as a good alternative. Or tell on them. Tell on them is my dream come true. If only my kids were tattlers and not duke it out themself kids. troubles would be much smaller.

But back to the goals.

We have charts. Everyone has there own. Baylie's goal is to stop biting herself when she gets frustrated, which is a whole other topic really of why would a 21 month old would hurt herself and be so full of her angst. The reason...okay, so I'm telling the story, is usually because I won't give her a cookie. And just as my visiting teacher pointed out to me ten minutes ago, if I would have never introduced sugar to her she wouldn't be crying over it. Well I did and she wakes up at 6 a.m. wanting a cookie or gum or ice cream. And I say no, and she bites. It is sad to watch and she makes marks. On to the other children.

It has been mighty hard goal. Three days of not getting a smiley face to be exact. Even the though the boy was provoked. Darby sprayed him with a hose so they he said, "I hate you".

Today is thursday, and Luke finally made his goal. That means we had three days of almosts and orginally (during family home evening) we decided they had to get 11 (I told him to pick a smaller number, but he insisted) smiley faces and then they will get....drum cream from the ice cream truck. With the overpriced gumdrop eyeballs. Crap there is that sugar thing again. They were thrilled.

But then today we went to Jackie's my dearly moved friend, and first thing at her house he says he hates graham crackers and hates something else. So did that break it? Well, I decided no, because this day is the best so far and really I don't want him to tell his sister (or me) I hate you, even though I would prefer him to say, " I don't like graham crackers' instead. We are looking for improvement people, not perfection! (He does like graham crackers, I don't know why he was saying that--kids are strange and tempermental). And he did say poop one time too, but it was better than the 400 times he usually says it and so whatever, this mothering stuff is hard, don't judge.

So then we go to the park and after a lovely time or no fighting, great playing, no bad words, Jackie sees the ice cream truck and so then I have to get my kids ice cream too. (Jackie you are probably laughing reading this). So my kids got their gum ball eye ball ice cream early. But I got to see them be the happiest ever with their friends who they never see and played great with. Serious pure joy because they were so happy. Eating their tweeties. Cause their mom never lets them. All for $4.50.

Fortunately after three days of no luck with the family nice word goals Luke and I discussed negotiating down the time to three (cause we need to make this do-able!), so that made today better. And at least he got his ice cream on a day the one day he actually kept it up. Halleluah. Cause I've been praying for a miracle.

I know I know, I'm crazy. Consistency is key....bla bla bla. this goal stuff is stressful.

Yes this might be the most boring thing to read for anyone especially without children.

And yes, Jason just walked in the door so I'll stop with this stuff and go see him. Good Night.


Heather said...

I don't have kids, and I love your kid stories. They are very entertaining. Amber is rather strict with Jackson about his language. He got on to one of Mel's kids for saying something he thought was a bad word. I don't remember what it was, but they told him it wasn't a bad word. I think it was whatever or something like that.

Nancy said...

Great job parenting! It is the hardest job ever. Those eyeball things sound gross though.

Lisa -- said...

I love how you are so real. You make my days better because I don't feel so alone. I appreciate my mom more and more as time goes on. Thanks for keeping us, moms, connected through your truthfulness and realness. It is a lot better to go through this (motherhood) connected with other moms.

English Garden said...

Do you ever think that they say stuff just because they know they are not supposed to? and they know that it bugs you? what if you told him he could say hate and poo and whatever else but you picked a spot that he could go and say it in, so he kinda gets it all out. You know how it is when you know you shouldn't do something, like the second you say diet you begin craving sugar? maybe pick a spot like bed or a corner of the garage or yard somewhere the kids can say things and not be heard and probably somewhere they don't really want to be so they have freedom to use the 'bad' words but won't necassarily want to. Does any of that make sense? just an idea.