Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Shrimp Scampi Sucks

What do you do with a huge bowl of Shrimp Scampi gone awry? Way too lemony. And way too something nasty that I can't put my finger on? Maybe its because I used margarine instead of butter because I was out. Or spaghetti noodles instead of linguine. Or maybe its when I used a zester to mince my garlic after my press broke? I made a special trip to Ralphs after going to Target with the kids breaking many cardinal rules. And they were still so good (after I promised them a candy bar) And to make it worse Luke and Baylie were sleeping in the car and I still woke them to get the final few ingredients I needed to make an awesome dinner. Perfect for the first day of school. They love shrimp and noodles. But it turns out I hate you stupid shrimp scampi.

And you too Ina perfect Garten. Not really, but I spent my whole one hour after the kids went to bed last night reading every single recipe and anecdote of yours, Ina, only to finally select the shrimp scampi (cause I already had the shrimp) and it stunk. It ruined my perfectly good day. Paul, the cooking teacher guru, lent me this book after reading my class questionaire...okay I Paul, I get it...I need to cool it on the cream soup recipe staples. So I was excited to try this recipe. Is anyone with me here? This would have never happened to my mom, cause she wouldn't have spent her precious time reading a cook book.

But I am a big nerd.

And this is my lovely daughter. Her told me to be happy mom once I realized the disaster. Cause if I can't eat something it is gross cause I will eat anything. This is her favorite face of the moment. I begged her to do it tonite, but she normally reserves it for when she is going potty and trying to make me laugh instead of concentrating on going pee. Think like 10 x a day.

This is the delicious picture of the way the shrimp scampi was intended.
I hate you
phony picture in your cute orange bowl.

These are only half the dishes I dirtied to make this terrible meal, which took me forever (think 3/4 of Newies that my kids were watching) while having Baylie in the bjorn and broke my garlic press. And smelled up my entire house and clothes with your stupid 9 cloves of garlic and 4 lemons and the one time in my life I actually bought fresh parsley.

If your children prefer eating the salad to the noodles, than your dinner sucks. Especially when they love shrimp and they love noodles. If you also agree with them...well then....
And I even used my cute bowls and favorite place mats and gave the kids real plates instead of plastic just for fun.

My favorite child who choked down the gross concoction of food that I made.

This is the child who refused to eat the nasty meal that could have fed 15 people in that enormous bowl.

This is Luke trying to make Darby's cross eyed face.
If 9/10 posts are violently cranky and pissy, does that mean I am violently cranky and pissy? How many pictures can you dedicate to a rotten dinner...just depends how much crying you did?


Anonymous said...

if looks count - your spagetti scampi gets a 10! I am so impressed you tried such a fancy pancy dish. Kudos to you! xomom

Lindsey said...

Okay! Darby's face!! Ha ha. She is soo cute! I am going to make her do that for me the next time I see her. Poor shrimp scampi. Stick to Paula Dean. Yum. Cute pict of Luke on his first day.

Amber said...

Too Funny. I just saw Ina make that dish on her show a couple of days ago. Kudos to you for trying to make it. I agree with Lindsey though. Stick with Paula, or Alton. He's my favorite. He has the yummiest homemade pizza recipe ever.

the mccoy's said...

brooke all seafood is just gross. it was prolly the icky scampi that ruined it.

as for ina.. i love her when i wanna eat AND gain 20 lbs. everything she cooks with calls for a stick of butter.

she is an inspiration though. i like her name. barefoot contessa. i could be barefoot contessa. i am always barefoot.

sorry for the scampi mishampi.

luke is a doll. SO glad to hear he got in.

darby will make me laugh throughout the day, when i think of her cute face!

Courtney said...

I don't really like Ina. She kind of bugs. I am a Paula Dean or Rachel Ray fan. I am sorry for the cooking disaster. That stinks that your house smelled like garlic and shrimp and you didn't even get a yummy dinner out of it. I think I am going to throw up just thinking about it...that might be the whole pregnancy thing though. Anyway, keep cookin'. You are the bomb. Just stick with yummy sweats for a while.

charlotte and clarke said...

Brooke, I have made a million nasty meals, and I can relate to spending way too much time ready cookbooks, but I also have a Food Network rec. Robin Miller quick fix meals- it's my current favorite.

Nash said...

This post rates right up there with the bad banana bread. I loved it! Seriously, that cracked me up and made my day. I was impressed. My kids wouldn't touch shrimp if it was covered in sugar. Pam's fam makes great BC recipes,I haven't tried them so I didn't realize how hard they were. Now I know to stay far away and to stick to costco chicken nuggets/corn dogs.
Anytime you are here I would love to cut your bangs!! I am trying to plan a wicked/LA/SD trip before the end of the year. Know of any good hotels? (just a girls trip)
Keep up the great writing.

Rachel said...

You are too funny! So sorry about the nasty dinner. My guess it was the fault of the fresh parsley. Come on, is it really meant to be eaten? Shouldn't it just be on the side of the plate to make it look pretty? I never watch cooking shows. I don't think I could handle making something that would turn out bad because I think of myself as a pretty good cook. I keep my standards low by not trying anything I couldn't do well. That equals we eat the same food all the time. Pretty boring over here. But usually good.

p.s. are you sure you don't want to do the 10k? you still have a month to train. it's just 6 miles. you can do it!