Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Shrimp Scampi Sucks
What do you do with a huge bowl of Shrimp Scampi gone awry? Way too lemony. And way too something nasty that I can't put my finger on? Maybe its because I used margarine instead of butter because I was out. Or spaghetti noodles instead of linguine. Or maybe its when I used a zester to mince my garlic after my press broke? I made a special trip to Ralphs after going to Target with the kids breaking many cardinal rules. And they were still so good (after I promised them a candy bar) And to make it worse Luke and Baylie were sleeping in the car and I still woke them to get the final few ingredients I needed to make an awesome dinner. Perfect for the first day of school. They love shrimp and noodles. But it turns out I hate you stupid shrimp scampi.
And you too Ina perfect Garten. Not really, but I spent my whole one hour after the kids went to bed last night reading every single recipe and anecdote of yours, Ina, only to finally select the shrimp scampi (cause I already had the shrimp) and it stunk. It ruined my perfectly good day. Paul, the cooking teacher guru, lent me this book after reading my class questionaire...okay I Paul, I get it...I need to cool it on the cream soup recipe staples. So I was excited to try this recipe. Is anyone with me here? This would have never happened to my mom, cause she wouldn't have spent her precious time reading a cook book.
But I am a big nerd.
And this is my lovely daughter. Her told me to be happy mom once I realized the disaster. Cause if I can't eat something it is gross cause I will eat anything. This is her favorite face of the moment. I begged her to do it tonite, but she normally reserves it for when she is going potty and trying to make me laugh instead of concentrating on going pee. Think like 10 x a day.
This is the delicious picture of the way the shrimp scampi was intended.
I hate you phony picture in your cute orange bowl.
These are only half the dishes I dirtied to make this terrible meal, which took me forever (think 3/4 of Newies that my kids were watching) while having Baylie in the bjorn and broke my garlic press. And smelled up my entire house and clothes with your stupid 9 cloves of garlic and 4 lemons and parsley...like the one time in my life I actually bought fresh parsley.
If your children prefer eating the salad to the noodles, than your dinner sucks. Especially when they love shrimp and they love noodles. If you also agree with them...well then....
And I even used my cute bowls and favorite place mats and gave the kids real plates instead of plastic just for fun.
My favorite child who choked down the gross concoction of food that I made.
This is the child who refused to eat the nasty meal that could have fed 15 people in that enormous bowl.
This is Luke trying to make Darby's cross eyed face.
If 9/10 posts are violently cranky and pissy, does that mean I am violently cranky and pissy? How many pictures can you dedicate to a rotten dinner...just depends how much crying you did?