Thursday, February 1, 2018

poor memory

lately I have been remembering why I used to write on my blog.  Its because of my poor memory.  And I know I will forget all of this.  Which is amazing because how could I forget my life right now? But I already do.  I forget what 6 months ago was like, or 2 years, I am forgetting the baby moments and wish so bad I could hold all my babies again.  Sigh.

But anyway, yes I'm busy and tired and need to go to sleep, but just wanted to take a few moments so I wouldn't forget some of these.

This morning I was saying my morning prayer at 5:45 a.m. and God told me I needed to talk to Luke about something and so I went and did it and wow it was spot on and I didn't even know it was an issue.  and I could just see it on his face that I should not know about this, but I didn't and thank goodness for prayers for mothers!

See and I have already forgotten the funny stories from earlier today with the little girls that I didn't want to forget!

But then Darby came in my room tonite after bedtime and asked if she could interview about motherhood.  who me?  You want to do me?  Okay I said as long as you can conduct the interview while doing the dishes.

She asked....

What attributes make a great mother?

hmmmm...kinda stumped.  haven't thought about it like that.

Well, unselfishness I said.

hmm...what else???

I really depend on prayer (see above story) but I know lots of great moms who don't pray so I know that is not mandatory, just very beneficial (essential for me really).  There is no one way to be a mother.  No one size fits all.  Really just love and caring?

What makes a great mom?  I had a great mom so I should know this.  I feel like I am a great mom but it didn't start out that way.

But really any person who loves their kids, who is willing to try over and over again and not quit.  Who does there best and dusts themselves off when they make mistakes is a great mom.  Who instills confidence and cheers them on and teaches them and makes them work so they can be independent healthy adults who will contribute to society...well thats a great mom!

Is there a recipe?  I think thats just it.

Then I told her what I used to tell people.  I think motherhood is like any job (albeit one of the most important and worthwhile jobs in the world).  But like any job you aren't going to start out it amazing.  You might suck in the beginning.  but you get better.  you learn and you grow.  There is a learning curve and a major humbling that takes place.  Motherhood gives you a grand magnification of all your flaws and yet you still have to keep going!  Because it is not about you!!!  Its about that little person whose life you will impression forever who needs a solid force of love and comfort and clarity as their MOTHER.  The most sacred of roles along with father in the world.

A question I used to get all the time is how do you have five kids?  Well they didn't come all as once. First one I didn't know what I was doing, second one I got a little better, had some panic moments with three and four, and fifth was just like oh man I'm like a freaking pro!  Had to learn to let go, learn to temper my temper, learn to take care of myself, learn how to cook and clean (which things I'm trying to give my kids a leg up on earlier).

Thankfully I had the great teacher (Nancy Jo) and really wish my kids have the same fondness as I do of my own mom and forget all the crappy things I have done.  I still have great room to improve but perfection is not a requirement to great mothering thankfully.

I think a confidence really helps when you are mom.  Maybe since it feels we get beaten down so much?  or because we have so many decisions to make?  Or maybe just confidence in the magnitude in our role?  Who knows.  You could write a book on motherhood which is why many people have.

All I know is it is the best thing I have ever done and I had no idea how much I would love it (or suck at it sometimes) and how hard and rewarding motherhood has been.  My greatest achievement.  Thank you children.  I hope you only remember the good parts.

Side note on the way home from volleyball tonite I told them the funny story about an infamous family home evening.

Then they insisted on another funny story so I told them how when we first moved to California and Luke was born I was walking down the stairs in the apartment building while a bunch of our friends were swimming in the pool (the building was arranged like melrose place...don't watch that show kids) anyway......I fell down the stairs bad holding Luke and everyone came rushing to see if I was ok and I didn't want them too because while I was sore we were both okay, BUT I had wet myself all over in the process of falling.  not cool.

why are these the kind of stories that we do remember?

dang it I just thought of a huge one.  a good mother is a good teacher!! She teaches her children morals and values and to be honest and a good person, no matter if they are a religious or not.  That is a common thread of a good mom.  For sure.


Brandon Walter Evans said...

Yeah blogging I think is public journalling which is why it is good. I was just thinking today miss Alvhild s blog. Have heard lots of talks on making your kids work is good. One said you learn to love what you serve more so if you learn to love cleaning/chores and work through doing it while young it will come more naturally to you and won't be such a burden throughout your life. Saying one of reasons parents love their kids so much is because they serve them so much maybe more applicable to moms.

Brandon Walter Evans said...

Also read a story by other side of Heaven seventy he said one time he was in a foreign country at customs and person was supposed to bring passport didn't know he was coming and he had a vision of his family praying for him that moment on his mission and he knew it wouod be alright and miraculously the person found out he was there and got him out.

Nancy Jo said...

People used to asked me why I stayed home to raise my kids and not work full time and I used to say I am raising tomorrow's leaders, it's a full-time job. I wanted them to do their best at all times, to love God, to love their siblings, to not fight : ) That was our goal.

La Esposa said...

I love reading your blog posts. It's like I'm sitting right next to you and having an actual conversation! With side stories and the things you forgot to mention at the beginning of our conversation LOL. I don't know if that makes sense, but this was wonderful.