Sunday, January 17, 2010
Why I like going to church...okay so just one reason
Okay, so you are never going to believe what happened today.
It was Stake Conference, but I didn't realize it was going to be a broadcast from Salt Lake. So the lights go dark and we are listening to the speakers on a large screen. Anyway, the first talk was amazing (about a couple who'd whose two children had died), and my kids were being pretty good and quiet so I could listen. The second talk was from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (an apostle who I really like). I could NOT believe what he said.
Elder Holland said his talk was on the "Dumb things we do in life that we wish we didn't do." I was like, hello, are you reading my mind? I'm the queen of dumb stuff--among other things (did ya catch my post yesterday?). Now I'm going to tell you what he said as best as I remember it and took notes, but don't have a written transcript myself, so forgive me for errors.
Anyway, he said to stop berating ourselves. We need to start forgiving ourselves more, which can be even harder than forgiving others. He said that a negative view of our self can lead to a negative view of others which can lead to a negative view of the world. He challenged us to see the good in ourselves. Seriously this is just what I needed to hear, because I've sure been beating myself up the last few months...
Elder Holland said there are things in life that need repentance, some with the help of church leaders, but today he didn't want to talk about the big stuff. But with the small stuff, we can acknowledge we are trying to change even if the speed we are going is slow. He said there are many, many good things we are doing and all the good we do pleases God. I can't totally read my handwriting for some of it, but seriously its days like today that I feel not very spiritual and in tune that the Savior finds a way to tell me he knows me and loves me. It seems like I've just been shaken up lately. Can't fit in my clothes, yell too much, house is a mess, always saying stupid stupid, just can't get it right, bla bla bla.
Elder Holland counseled to 'unload some of that excess baggage.' "Deal with it and move on." He said to forgive yourself and see the virtues in your life and be kind to yourself. "Heavenly Father is kind to you and wants you to do the same."
He then expounded phase 2 was to forgive someone else. Even if their acts are intentional, unfair or cruel. "You can't expect to receive something you aren't willing to give." The Savior suffered for our sins and as Elder Holland pointed out, the Savior took on transgressions which he did not commit.
He then quoted one of his favorite scriptures which is also one of mine in Isaiah 53, verses 3-5 "He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."
Elder Holland told me to "Thank the heavens for the gospel of Jesus Christ and for the knowledge of the Savior's atonement." Resolve that which needs to be resolved.
Hmm....So maybe Jesus understands I'm trying to be better. Maybe He gives me a bigger break than I give myself. I really need to hear that and I felt like Elder Holland was talking just for me. It was just so positive. We are okay, I am okay. Its okay as long as we are trying our best.
That is why I like going to church. Because you never know when you are going to hear something just for you. The Savior is much more connected to our lives than we think, and I need to remember that.
Does anybody else who was there remember anything else that I missed?