On Monday I got to hold a baby that was only four hours old. Little Victoria. No, it was not my own. I cuddled her next to me and smelled her head. She was so cute and precious, and I felt lucky to be there, one of the first people to meet her. Her parents were so proud. I was really glad that I get one of those cute babies in a few months or else I wouldn't have been able to give her up so easily. Even more pleased that this is probably the most calm I have ever felt before one of my babies is born, which is so much nicer than panic and worry.
On the way home I was driving all by myself (a rarity...and even remembered NOT to get in the carpool lane), I got a phone call from my friend telling me she is expecting a baby in March.
I love good news.
But what has been on my mind for the last few days is the temple. And my baby.
I try not to talk baby talk too much, just like I try to not talk church talk too much, but they are both big parts of me that I would be silly to ignore. So if you don't want to hear about either of these things, you might want to stop right here.
I had a really special time at the temple on Saturday with Jason.
Here are my temple disclaimers:
1. I am not the temple expert. BUT I have been regularly attending the temple monthly (sometimes less, sometimes more) for almost ten years now.
2. I don't mean to be cryptic in my temple talk, maybe just vague :) But most of you know we Mormons (No, Mormons is not the name of the church, its just slang), don't talk super openly about what happens in the temple because really its so special to us. And not everyone gets to go there. In fact you could be Mormon your whole life and never go to the temple. Or you could go one time and never go back. Which would be a shame. Not because we want to keep you away. The more the merrier. Its not secret, its sacred. In fact, I will tell you how you can get there, its really easy actually. Just requires a clean lifestyle, an honest heart, a love of the Savior, an interview from your church leaders, and a signed card. But if you are really curious and not satisfied with my answers, go find your local cute missionaries and ask them about it...they would love to share and could explain way better than me. Or go to lds.org or mormon.org
3. But all you really need to know is the temple is good. Nothing bad, just good. Peaceful. Everything is based on the scriptures and when I was twenty and went for the first time, that was my first impression...how much was based in scriptures I had already been reading.
Okay, back to the story.
Anyway, so this Saturday we had a babysitter, My MOM, so we even went to dinner (Chilis) before which is pretty amazing already. Because normally we are gone to the temple so long that we can't afford to do anything else.
Lately I've been really aware of my daughter with me. Maybe because she has been moving so much and kicking my insides. But mostly because I already feel so connected to her. She is already my buddy. I need to know who is coming to my family--boy or girl--and what there name is as soon as possible...I'm just crazy like that.
So I just already thinking that Saturday night that little Paisley Jo McCoy was going to the temple with me. That was cool.
We did things a little differently and instead of going to the usual two hour session, we did the beginning part, which happens to be my favorite, but we don't do very often. So it was already going to be a special time.
So here I am sitting among these women who I've never met, but all seem so strong and amazing, and I'm hearing these words that I haven't heard in a while, all of us dressed in white, with this baby in my belly, and I start to cry. Because it is all so special. And true. And because I felt my daughters presence so strong, like she was experiencing this with me. Together. The woman who was with me who I just met choked up and said she felt it too.
The temple is always great but sometimes are more special than others. And Saturday was one of those times. Like how each Sunday service isn't the same, I mean you go, but maybe you aren't as prepared to listen or you are tired or whatever. But this temple time was special to me.
I'm so happy to have my little crazy family. I know we knew each other before we came to Earth. And that we all choose to come down to earth and be tested. We are meant to have joy and learn to follow our Savior back to Him where we can one day live with Him and our families in Heaven. Death is not the end. My sweet little children will be connected to me for eternity. Jason and I.
And its because of what happens in the temple that we can be bond for eternity. Sealed.
Its not that I think that the purpose of life is to make babies. But I think its pretty important. Those babies need bodies to come to earth and I'm just lucky to be able to do it. Especially since this child bearing thing is much easier for me than for others. I don't know why. I'm just glad that they chose me to be their mother. So that Jason and I could provide them with love and stability and confidence. Or try our hardest. To teach them that they can change the world, or at least make it a little better. To teach them that there is more to life than all the frivolous stuff we sometimes worry too much about.
To think that before we were lived here, little Paisley and I agreed to come down to this earth together, to be family, to love each other. The temple reminds me that. That my bills, and errands and schedules are not everything. There is more to life. Who we are, where we came from and where we are going. I'm trying to keep it in perspective.
Sometimes when I have gone to the temple really early with a friend (CLAIRE!), I am amused while the rest of Los Angeles is sleeping at 5:30 a.m., the Mormons are awake and working. Just doing some good before we head off for the rest of the day. Trying to pocket a piece of heaven so we can be ready for what challenges await us in this life we have been given. Trying to hear the Savior more in a place where we feel more closely connected to him. And to our families.
Just what I've been thinking lately.
A week from Friday we get to see Jason's little sister married in the Seattle temple. So excited for these two and what is in store for them in life.
This is where if you do have a temple recommend you decide to get your butt there this weekend... or go for me cause I will need to skip out on going for the next bit...having this baby girl and all coming. Or call those cute missionaries.