It is a rare and seldom used indulgence of marriage to hijack the spouse's blog. And certain occasions not only warrant it, but demand it. Consider this the official response to blog post "Mushy Mushy" dated Saturday, February 14, 2009 by the subject of said posting. Spousal privilege invoked...
This is my first blog post ever and dedicated to my Brooke on this, our ninth anniversary. Living in LA, one may wonder how it feels to have lasted approximately 8 1/2 years longer than the average Hollywood marriage. Well, let me tell you: about 8 1/2 years longer. Let me explain. Whilst (that's for you, Shars) looking for the appropriate card to give Brooke I came across one which depicted an old couple sitting on a bench, you know, the ones where they take old-timey black and white pictures and give them funny captions. If you've looked at cards in the last 100 years, you've seen them. Although if you actually were around 100 years ago looking at cards you probably saw the original photographs which are now "reimagined" for today's consumer, much like many of today's films. Same old crap, new generation of too-young-to-remember consumer.
Anyway, the husband is reading a newspaper and the wife knitting (Interjection: I don't understand old people really all that much but this does not seemed to have changed for oldies over the years. End interjection.) and the husband reads a statistic which says married people live longer than single people. I opened the card and the wife cleverly responds, "No, it just FEELS longer!" Ha! What a good one. As we'd say when I was a kid (and still do sometimes), "Burn! Dis! Cap!"
That, while funny, however was not the message I wanted to convey to Brooke nor is what I'm saying about our 9 years at all. What card I did give to Brooke is what any good husband (take note guys) should get his lovely wife - something which debases himself and elevates her. Pure and simple, and the secret to marriage worldwide. And yes, it was an old-timey, repurposed photograph card. What can I say? Old people wise-cracking are funny!
The reader upon reviewing that this is actually supposed to be a dedication post, may wonder what kind of dedication post this is with as yet no list of amazing qualities or concrete experiences to support such a claim. Well, as any lawyer could point out, I never technically stated that I would support it, but nevertheless, I will do so in my way. After all, that's what marriage is all about, stuff only we can understand and appreciate between ourselves and totally excludes other people in our lives. Right? I'm sure I read that somewhere.
I must say, though, without any qualms whatsoever, that my life is definitely a lot better because of Brooke. There are a lot of definitely-a-lots now, but I'll just leave it at a lot better. I have no issue with that. If you've never done this, it's a good exercise to wonder what life could have been like had I not married Brooke, had I made other choices. Even though your situation may be completely different or you may not even know us, if you ponder how my life could have ended up without Brooke, it will help you, I promise you. It reminds me how glad I am to be what and where I am in life, and with whom (children included) and how scary it is to think of the alternatives. Yikes, perish the thought! So maybe it's not so good to think of the unknowable what-could-have-beens. It's not like in It's A Wonderful Life how James Stewart, ahem, James Stewarts' character, gets to see, in his case, how the lives of all those he knows would have been had he not lived or Scrooge seeing his possible future. Nah, for us regular real life folks we can't ever really know which I think is a good thing. Make your choice and make the best of it. I think someone famous or a GA* must have said something to that effect (but if not, take a hike, it's MINE!). Actually, "Come what may and love it" is pretty similar, but I think the patent office might still award it to me for being different enough.
You'll notice how I haven't much mentioned the children. There is a simple explanation: although a direct result of marrying Brooke and a definite joy to my life, when it comes down to it, it was she and I at the first and it will be she and I at the last. Eventually they will grow up and marry theirs and be in the same situation as we are now. Funny how life is like that, not so much the circle of life idea of what goes around comes around - I mean who really wants to live, die, get born again, and live another life all over again? No spank you very much! - but I mean in the onward and upward sense. And that's what we're doing together, or trying to anyway. The real reason we've made it this long is die hard commitment to making it work, no quitting allowed. And fortunately we both have that determination.
So in my roundabout way, what it comes down to is being able to laugh together so hard that tears come out and your stomach literally hurts because it's probably the equivalent of doing a thousand situps, or being able to say a thousand words with a meaningful look, or just knowing she's always got my back. I'm glad she puts up with my silliness and idiosyncracies and the times I get super stubborn.
So here's to you, my sweetheart, happy anniversary. May we have a great day even though it's still filled with regular day stuff and we can't go on a date until this weekend! I love you!
P.S. here is a list afterall:
amazing cook, especially breads, mmmmm
pregnant, yep, no joke
(sorry, honey, that info was sort of coming out anyway so why not just make it official. ;) Plus, if people have actually read this entirely, they deserve a little reward!)