Soapbox

I should not be happy.

If you were to make a list of my life the last year it sure seems like I have plenty of reasons not to be.  I would list them all but that would be depressing, and too personal.

But the weirdest thing happened lately, because I am.  I am happy.


Shh….don't tell anyone because I don't want it to go away.



But miracles happen and my happiness is a miracle for me.

And something I fight for.

Just went to a youth fireside on Sunday where the lovely Christie spoke so eloquently on conversion not being a one time event and I agree.

And then the next speaker talked about needing CPR.  CHURCH, PRAY, READ

and I agree.  If you need some more happiness get a hefty dose of CPR and than let the Lord do the work on your heart and be patient.  (now sing it with me…Let it go, let is go….)

Now I am very aware that the next day or moment the floor could be taken from underneath me again but right now in this moment, I am happy and it feels so nice.  I had almost forgotten what it was like.

I sorta want to drop kick or punch in the face the recent naysayers in the church (I know thats not very Christ-like, Christ can love them for me) but it is difficult to hear bashing about the thing that is so close to me.  Korihor can be present in 2014…and we can be as dumb as the Nephites were too. (and he might be a SHE but we won't go there)

The people in the church are not perfect but Christ is and He covers all unfairness in the world.  Where we are deficient He makes up for us and loves us completely, even the parts we don't want anyone else to see.  He wants us to repent, but not because He views us as 'bad' but because when we grow close to  Him and rid our lives of all the crap, then we are happy. There is a difference between pleasure and joy. 

"The Church is not a monastery for the isolation of perfect people.  It is more like a hospital provided for those who wish to get well."  - Elder Jeffrey R Holland

These last few months I've had to remember that.  That nobody is perfect but He uses us anyway.
Through my roughest days I have had to relearn some principles of the gospel that I thought I already knew.  Thankfully God is patient with us and believing in us.  Even when we don't believe anymore.

Go to the temple.  and go again and again.  and then invite me cause I need to go with you.

Saturday is the general women's meeting for the church and I will be there with Darby since they just opened the age to not just adults but any woman over 8 years old.  It will be the largest gathering of women…ever.   I am proud to gather with my fellow saints in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  

Then in one week we will sit by our tvs and computers for 2 days and listen to the General Conference of the church where we here from all the leaders, women and men and I will love it.  But it will not soak all in and then I will listen to them over and over.  When I am sad again, and when I am angry and when I am lost…and I will let the words of God seep into my soul until I feel His light again.

Romans 1:16  For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believeth;