I might have a new winner today.
So to get your Mormon education up to speed, the first Sunday of the month is Fast Sunday and as my friend called "Open Mic Night." Where anyone can come up and bear their testimonies.
So it being the fact that I have only one Sunday left at this church before we moved, I thought I'd better get up. But I didn't really have anything compelling to say, so.....
Anywhoooo, I started with "I felt like I'd be a big shmuck if I didn't get up.....
Followed my by testimony. Very simple. Sit down.
At the end of sacrament meeting, the new first counselor in the Bishopric (who replaced Jason) came up (and is a good friend of ours) said, well you managed to say shmuck in a testimony.
And I said, its not a bad word right?
And he said, 'Well actually it is."
and then told me in Yiddish (remember I live in very Jewish community) is basically means a man's organ.
Awesome. I said penis at the pulpit. Figures. I shouldn't have even bothered. No wonder people were laughing.
The only thing I could manage to say was," Well hopefully that means I just offended five people then, right?"
Which is about how many Jewish converts we have in our ward.
BUT oh not so. Turns out Shmuck means way more than a 'man's organ' which his wife later informed me (as well as the billion others who were not Jewish converts, but had good Jewish friends and obviously more versed in the culture than I).
Shmuck is a very crude way of saying a man has a little organ.
Awesome. Who can say they've done that. At least I provided constant Sunday school fodder and left a good impression of myself before I left. That is totally me anyway. Foot in mouth.
Funny thing is that I've realized that Fast Sunday has been approaching for two weeks now. Ever since I realized which one our last one would be. And I had too much premeditated things to say. Which I thought would all not really be important enough. So I stuck to the basics...or so I thought.
But what I really wanted to convey to this ward which there really isn't a forum to convey this....
Is how much I've learned in my two and half years here. All the people who have touched me. All the people who have served me. How they have become my family. How it was only when all my closest friends moved alway that I realized how much I loved my little part of this LA. So many people I look up to and think are so classy. I first moved in when I was pregnant with Baylie. Heck I even learned to knit from this ward...
And how I've had the best callings. Callings meaning volunteer positions...cause nobody is paid at our church and you dont' get to pick where you get to serve. They pray about it and then they ask you. But somehow where you serve is always where you need to be....
So I was 1 year in nursery, where I will forever appreciate all nursery leaders, and did a dang good job as well since its my profession thank you very much. I was super pregnant in nursery which was hard and then had a little baby that was hard and taught all of my kids for a little bit while I was there.
The rest as the primary (children's) music leader. Which could not have been further out of my comfort zone. Hilarious actually. I had to sing loudly in front of everyone each week and I'm not a singer. At all. But my good friend was the president and while I'm sure she might...okay, probably was, inspired, I was also a willing body that would show up and do it fun. So after some very painful moments, I finally got good at it and now I'm almost done. Dang it if I don't appreciate music so much more. The messages and the memories it creates in these cute kids. Mostly, I'll appreciate whoever is the primary music leader for the rest of my life. Cause it wasn't easy, but it was great.
So while I totally embarrassed myself good this time, at least it was among some people I love. And now I need to go take a nap so I can try to forget all of this. Cause that was rough.
My only other thought is, at least Jason will never be Bishop with this crazy wife saying stuff like that. See, there are good things