Thursday, February 1, 2018

poor memory

lately I have been remembering why I used to write on my blog.  Its because of my poor memory.  And I know I will forget all of this.  Which is amazing because how could I forget my life right now? But I already do.  I forget what 6 months ago was like, or 2 years, I am forgetting the baby moments and wish so bad I could hold all my babies again.  Sigh.

But anyway, yes I'm busy and tired and need to go to sleep, but just wanted to take a few moments so I wouldn't forget some of these.

This morning I was saying my morning prayer at 5:45 a.m. and God told me I needed to talk to Luke about something and so I went and did it and wow it was spot on and I didn't even know it was an issue.  and I could just see it on his face that I should not know about this, but I didn't and thank goodness for prayers for mothers!

See and I have already forgotten the funny stories from earlier today with the little girls that I didn't want to forget!

But then Darby came in my room tonite after bedtime and asked if she could interview about motherhood.  who me?  You want to do me?  Okay I said as long as you can conduct the interview while doing the dishes.

She asked....

What attributes make a great mother?

hmmmm...kinda stumped.  haven't thought about it like that.

Well, unselfishness I said.

hmm...what else???

I really depend on prayer (see above story) but I know lots of great moms who don't pray so I know that is not mandatory, just very beneficial (essential for me really).  There is no one way to be a mother.  No one size fits all.  Really just love and caring?

What makes a great mom?  I had a great mom so I should know this.  I feel like I am a great mom but it didn't start out that way.

But really any person who loves their kids, who is willing to try over and over again and not quit.  Who does there best and dusts themselves off when they make mistakes is a great mom.  Who instills confidence and cheers them on and teaches them and makes them work so they can be independent healthy adults who will contribute to society...well thats a great mom!

Is there a recipe?  I think thats just it.

Then I told her what I used to tell people.  I think motherhood is like any job (albeit one of the most important and worthwhile jobs in the world).  But like any job you aren't going to start out it amazing.  You might suck in the beginning.  but you get better.  you learn and you grow.  There is a learning curve and a major humbling that takes place.  Motherhood gives you a grand magnification of all your flaws and yet you still have to keep going!  Because it is not about you!!!  Its about that little person whose life you will impression forever who needs a solid force of love and comfort and clarity as their MOTHER.  The most sacred of roles along with father in the world.

A question I used to get all the time is how do you have five kids?  Well they didn't come all as once. First one I didn't know what I was doing, second one I got a little better, had some panic moments with three and four, and fifth was just like oh man I'm like a freaking pro!  Had to learn to let go, learn to temper my temper, learn to take care of myself, learn how to cook and clean (which things I'm trying to give my kids a leg up on earlier).

Thankfully I had the great teacher (Nancy Jo) and really wish my kids have the same fondness as I do of my own mom and forget all the crappy things I have done.  I still have great room to improve but perfection is not a requirement to great mothering thankfully.

I think a confidence really helps when you are mom.  Maybe since it feels we get beaten down so much?  or because we have so many decisions to make?  Or maybe just confidence in the magnitude in our role?  Who knows.  You could write a book on motherhood which is why many people have.

All I know is it is the best thing I have ever done and I had no idea how much I would love it (or suck at it sometimes) and how hard and rewarding motherhood has been.  My greatest achievement.  Thank you children.  I hope you only remember the good parts.

Side note on the way home from volleyball tonite I told them the funny story about an infamous family home evening.

Then they insisted on another funny story so I told them how when we first moved to California and Luke was born I was walking down the stairs in the apartment building while a bunch of our friends were swimming in the pool (the building was arranged like melrose place...don't watch that show kids) anyway......I fell down the stairs bad holding Luke and everyone came rushing to see if I was ok and I didn't want them too because while I was sore we were both okay, BUT I had wet myself all over in the process of falling.  not cool.

why are these the kind of stories that we do remember?

dang it I just thought of a huge one.  a good mother is a good teacher!! She teaches her children morals and values and to be honest and a good person, no matter if they are a religious or not.  That is a common thread of a good mom.  For sure.

Saturday, December 2, 2017


Sometimes I have really moved about how close I am to a temple. So lucky and there is no place like it in the world. Great reminder of what is important and what direction I want to head in my life. And I love when I bring my ancestors names there.

I am so surprised how much I have grown to love family scripture study. Jason and I have been married nearly 18 years and I would say the last year was the best we have done in making apart of our family. It’s so wierd and unexplainable the family unity and peace it brings even if we all just read one verse. (That’s 7 verses if you need help with the math)

I just love this picture. These two were babies together (see lower picture that P and K googled of themselves) and time really does go by and they are even better older than I could have imagined. Who would guess when M (see what I’m doing there? Less google-able ;) were roommates that our kids would know each other too!

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Thursday, November 30, 2017

my poor poor blog

okay, well I am so sorry instagram has sort of replaced you.  and i'm way overdue printing blog books.   I think I need to do 3 years at this point.  plus i missed the dang 30 percent off coupon windo.  And I kinda only talk about church stuff at this point which might be boring my audience (hi, mom!) to tears.  So do I abandon you?  Or make another valiant rally?  Hmmmm...

But christmas season is upon us.  And light the world campaign starts tomorrow.

whats new?  Well jason wants to get a real tree this year!  wow, can't even remember the last time we did that.  plans are for saturday.

my parents are coming for christmas.  also can't remember the last time they were with us on actual christmas, but i think it might have been us in california 10 years ago???/I don't even know.

will i or won't i send christmas cards this these are questions of the century people.

also, for some reason i have a big aversion to baking and passing out treats i think i'm going the store bought route this year.

soccer is over hip hip hooray.  although i sure love watching them play.

football is over, oh yes, now luke needs to be reintroduced into the family structure since he was gone so much and no that doesn't mean just playing video games all the time (we tried that it was a bust)
currently he also has no texting ability on his phone (dad is the technology whiz and did that).  but dang he is good kid!  even though he is not perfect (ask him why texting is gone) he is a bright and shining light in the world.  same with darby too!  All the kids actually!  But becomes more apparent in the bigger kids.

ps. love high school pickup .  its like a free for all no rules and no honking and everyone just does it and no angry drivers.  dude.  where has this been all my life?  elementary and jr high need to take note!  also, it has not crossed luke's mind to be embarrassed about mom picking him up he is just glad i'm not making him walk!

we get to see hamilton on saturday! i'm super excited.  the story is and founding of our country is really quite moving and the play is really quite brilliant (judging from all the songs we have stuck in our heads).  sure wish the kids could go (and that there was no potty language in it)

lately I just really love my small untidy house.  i'm so dang grateful for it and our awesome crappy cars that won't quit.  I have learned that if I just really bust my butt and clean it for a few days i love it more and so when i see the mess right now I know i can get it better when i want to.  that was not today.

also, have been talking to the girls when i pick them up from school i want to see smiles!  why do they save all their grumpy for me??? I know they weren't like that for their teacher.  so stop scowling at your mom!  life is good for heavens sake.

ps.  rusty is so pretty.  wish it didn't cost a million dollars to groom him but oh well.  beauty doesn't come cheap ;)

and on that note i'm going to go curl my hair before luke's football banquet.

good bye world.  mama's gotta go do herself up!

i had a few quiet moments to myself while i was eating lunch today and watched the more horrible cheesy christmas love movie on netflix and it was painful and awesome!!!!!!

best time of the year!!!!

Wednesday, October 25, 2017


6 am family scripture Volunteered at school
Baked a cake
Visiting teaching
Made chili
Did crazy hair day
Got kids ready for Halloween party
Sewed some basic costumes
Temple recommend interview
Ward Trunk or treat

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